Annoying adverts - for dummies!

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How to annoy the nation

Step 1. Think of a word. Yes, only one, although preferably it should be one associated with the product in question. Write your word in below:


Step 2. Now think of as many words as possible that rhyme with this word. Write them in below:


Step 3. Nearly finished. Now all you have to do is come up with incredibly contrived sentences with these words at the end. If you put music behind them, you have yourself a song. Don't worry about syllables or meter: seriously, anything goes...


It's hard to choose exactly which individual aspect is worst, but the new Kellogg's Frosties advert has ruined any childhood memories I have of Tony the Tiger being cool. Whether it's the faux-cockney line "I can 'ear the sahnd of Frosties hittin' mi plate" or the fact that lines such as "Or a Pi–rate" (4 syllables) and "E-venLadiesWithPerSonalisedNumberPlates" (12) are stretched/crammed into the same tune... maybe I'm too old to appreciate all this any more...

See the alternative version of the advert here and read the (frankly hilarious) urban myths about the boy here.

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