The Apprentice: Heavier than a Batmobile
I watched this week's Apprentice at half-past-three on Wednesday morning, having been staring at a computer screen for about a day. As a result, my memory of precisely what happened are slightly cloudy. The Guardian's excellent "live blog" has handily filled in the gaps.
Our six would-be apprentices were given the task of selling wealthy punters the chance to spend some time with some fantastic supercars. Apparently, this is a rapidly growing new business venture, although quite why struck me as a tad confusing. Surely the whole point of those things is to drive them – fast? Unless you own your own racetrack, there's not much opportunity to do that on the UK's roads... It soon became clear, though, that the target audience was disgustingly rich grade-A posers.
Depending on your point of view, poor/useless Lucinda was unfairly/fairly treated by her team-mates this week. Having said she wouldn't feel comfortable selling on her own (because she's not a saleswoman and doesn't know anything about cars), team-leader Lee nevertheless abandoned/entrusted her to try and sell on her own. He and Alex, undoubtedly the stronger salesmen, could then try to flod the top-end, high-risk motor. The bastard/clever man. In the boardroom, she defended herself valiantly/moaned and whined, but was still on the receiving end of some classic Sir Alan put-downs... had their team not absolutely stormed the task, it could have been much worse/better.
At long last, Michael was given the boot. After some terrible more geographical blunders, and a total mis-application of local knowledge (trying to sell a Ferarri at Portobello fruit and veg market equals Syed's attempts to find a dinner jacket in Camden Market), plus weeks of ineptitude, the odious little man finally got fired. The right result, without doubt.
Next week's task has been the stumbling block for many of the series' favourites: the interviews. On past form, we can expect to hear some hilarious CVs, some self-promotion of the highest order... and probably some quite nasty things too. Hopefully I'll be able to watch it at a more hospitable hour...
Highlights of the week:
▫ This excerpt from The Guardian's live coverage: "Michael is still trying to sell, and resorting to telling men they are handsome. It's only a matter of time before he offers to fellate someone, surely. I truly believe he would, if someone would hire his car."
