The Apprentice: Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but –

This week's Apprentice was the most cringe-worthy to date. Not just because of Kevin's woeful attempt to pitch his team's idea, either. From what we have seen of them over the last six weeks, every single one of the remaining candidates (without exception, albeit to varying degree) has proved themselves to be quite dislikeable.

It was clear from the very beginning that tensions among the candidates were high. From the argument in the car between Technicolour Lucinda, Kit-Cat Clock Helene and B*witched star Jennifer to the massive spat that broke out in the house following Doe-eyed Sara's return... it's fair to guess that there won't be too many Valentines cards being sent between them next year. Kudos to Spiffing Raef for defending Sara (apparently the only one to do so, although we always remember the influence that editing can have), despite her very limited contribution, and shame on the rest of them.

It's quite staggering to think that any of the card retailers put any orders in for the teams' designs. Note the use of the apostrophe after the "s" in teams, there. At no stage did anyone in either team stop and ask some very basic questions about their ideas: who is going to buy this card, and why? These queries were raised at each and every pitch, and not once were the teams able to provide a satisfactory answer. Mind you, I'm not sure Sir Alan's new range would have fared any better.

Highlights of the week:
▫ Amstrad bereavement cards (right)
▫ Michael calling The Daily Telegraph to check his grammar
▫ Margaret Mountford's look of horror at his celebrations