It's like I'm ******* five

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* Note to taxman: I don't really get paid like this.

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Why I'll be watching the FA Cup on Setanta

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Screen capture by David Murray, all rights reserved. ITV HD © ITV 2009 How difficult can it be to broadcast a football match? I only ask because ITV have been determined on several occasions this season alone to make a ruddy-great hash of it. They've picked the wrong games to show, they've messed up scheduling, they've missed the only goal of a game... and now they've put on a truly shambolic display in high definition, too. I say high definition, but for the majority of last night's Champions League final, it was actually upscaled-SD that we were watching on the ITV HD red button service (they haven't even opted to make it a fully-fledged channel). With poor quality audio. And no clock. We were even treated to a farcical montage of a bespectacled Steve Ryder, bemused Teddy Sheringham and boring shot of a studio floor - twice . It's bad enough having to listen to their sub-standard coverage at the best of times. So from now on, whenever there's a
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The Italian Job

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I've seen it once at the cinema, but I couldn't resist watching "The Italian Job" (2003, USA) one more time, if only to compare it with the original I have on DVD. How they can claim that this film is a "re-make" of the original, I'm not really sure. Yes, there's Mini Coopers and a plot based around messing up the traffic systems, but the 1969 version was never about stealing the gold. It was about Charlie: about his own cunning, wit and charm. Croker's character provided everything, from the memorable one-liners to the tragic fall . OK, perhaps the new version brings the action kicking and screaming up-to-date: but where's the charm? "Remember - in this country, they drive on the wrong side of the road" - Charlie Croker (1969) "You should never mess with Mother Nature, mothers-in-law, and mother-freaking Ukrainians" - Skinny Pete (2003)
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Berlin ePrix 2 qualifying report

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Mahindra's dominance and news of Sébastien Buemi's disqualification in round seven set up a fascinating qualifying session for the second Berlin ePrix of the weekend. Stephane Sarrazin was the first to take to the track, but despite improving times from the Saturday sessions, he could only take provisional third. Both Mahindra drivers were drawn in the first group, but had mixed fortunes. Rosenqvist set a time in the low 1:08 range, but Nick Heidfeld suffered a problem with his throttle that put him last. Nelson Piquet Jr. took the fourth slot, Maro Engel in provisional P-2. In contrast to many drivers' strategies, Daniel Abt took to the track as soon as the pit lane opened, hoping to time it right and set a fast lap with an empty track ahead of him. It paid off, although his time wasn't enough to beat Rosenqvist. But with both Renaults in the same group, both men were relegated a place when Buemi set a quicker time. Team-mate Nicolas Prost also reached the top five,
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