The Apprentice: Wash out

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The Apprentice is back. And how.

It always amazes me how clueless the candidates seem to be about the whole process. At times, the new candidates seem to have learnt from the mistakes of the past – for example, both teams managed to sort out team names pretty rapidly this year – but then everything falls apart.

The women couldn't get themselves organised, at first spending too long choosing a team leader, then arguing over how much money to spend on cleaning products... and then bitching about it in the taxis. Their approach didn't look like it could get any worse... until they started arguing with their potential customers over how much to charge! £300 to clean three limos? £300?!? The phrase "That's an amazing quote" really shouldn't be used when you're charging double what the guy's currently paying.

The boys on the other hand started very promisingly indeed. Within five minutes they'd sorted out a plan, had a potential client on the phone, and were ready to start. Geordie Philip secured a good deal, and after a slightly shaky start they had a great system in place. Team leader Howard let panic set in though, and abandoned their nice little shoe-shining venture to get the job done. In the end, it didn't prove to be disastrous decision, but it was a move that split the team right down the middle.

Speaking of divisions, the girl's team followed the script perfectly by turning the Boardroom into a slanging match. Fingers were pointed, blame was allocated, bucks were passed. Sir Alan cut through them like a hot scythe through butter. Then team leader Mona continued another fine Apprentice tradition - choosing the two people that Sir Alan singled out for criticism to bring back with her to the firing line.

None of the three managed to cover themselves in glory - even Debra's attempt at a pincer attack on teary Mona nearly backfired spectacularly when Anita completely failed to back her up. Fortunately for her, when it comes to failures of character vs. failures of frugality, Sir Alan is always going to lean one way. Anita got the boot for spending to much shmatah.

Quotes of the Week
▫ "What's this?" - "It's a duster."
▫ "He's like Adolf Hitler... he's a bit picky"
▫ "Oh, I feel like P-Diddy" (sounds best in a Geordie accent)

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